Lumpy

You know what the problem with being creative is?  It takes massive amounts and chunks of time out of your day!  It is a solitary endeavor also.  Now honestly, I am not a very solitary person....ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you....I can and will talk your head off!  Ask my wife and her response will resonate with frustration at my apparent lack of concern about her problems and opinions( at times if I may add), but truly I live to solve her problems and love it when she opens up to me (which is not enough), but then I go into advice or problem solving mode and take over the conversation!  I'm working on that......remember that last post....progress not perfection?

Take this blog.....I only write when I am waiting in front of the kid's schools or late at night after everyone is asleep.  My office is in the middle of our living room (wouldn't those pics be great)!  The evenings are not very quiet around the house as you can imagine, or maybe sympatize?  My previous office was re-purposed into her crap....I mean craft...sorry about the typo....can't delete.....spell check non-functional....haha!  Actually she is a creative also with scrap booking and competitive bargain shopping (an adrenaline junky when it comes to the latter)....

So the solitary issue....I survive on about 4 hrs of sleep per night because I create better at night....is that odd?  I know many of the famous artists were night owls, addicts, alcoholics, lunatics, and oddballs.  I made it past the alcohol but I never fancied myself as an oddball......perhaps it is time for some self reflection and assessment!  I have been working a lot lately with the more artistic side of Photoshop, and I am finding myself getting more immersed than  ever in the creative possibilities of this medium.  It is endless I tell you!

And I know, I know, I sound like a kid who just got a new horn for his bicycle, you know that kid who drives you crazy speeding past your house honking that horn while you are inside trying to get in some quiet creative time....makes you want to rip off that horn throw it to the ground and stomp on it.....but then everyone would see you and compare you to Lumpy......from "Leave it to Beaver"........

Sooooo.......check out some of my work @http://jkirkwood.smug mug.com and let me know what you think!  And if you like what you see, most all are available for wall adornment.  If you like my style, just remember, I work for pennies at this time compared to my contemporaries, so you better hire me QUICK.......before I BLOW UP!   Or starve to death and abandon the whole idea!  HAHA!

This has been a public service announcement, in case of an emergency, it will be followed by.......well actually it wouldn't be here......

Thanks for your time!

j.rizzo

A Clean Street

I shared my testimony yesterday evening.  We have a group of people we (my family and I) meet with every other saturday.  We are all members of HOCC, it is a group of Christian people whom I have been associated with for around 10 years or so.  The core of the group are couples whom I have come to regard over the years as some of the most valued friends and FAMILY that I have.  We are a group of ethnically, socio, and economically diverse worshipers who strive to hold each other to a biblical standard of living......I know the view many people have of the church these days....some see Christianity as an extremely hipocritical faith.  They see many people "Playing Church" on Sundays and then on Monday morning they resume their "normal" behavior.....Believe me I was once of that same mindset, but until you have come to know a group of people honestly TRYING to live as the Bible suggests, you are missing out on quite an adventure!  None of us are perfect, but we practice "progress not perfection". 

So I shared my testimony with a somewhat smaller group than normal.....could have been the advertisement of my sharing that lowered the attendance....Ha Ha!  No seriously, I could not have asked for a more understanding, compassionate, responsive, and intuitive group than those who were there.  Afterward they prayed over me and for me and my family and endeavors, and shared tears and laughter with me.

  I have, and always will, try to live my life as an open book.  I have stumbled, fallen, tripped, heck I've smashed my face on the concrete at times over the years!  But as my story testifies, I serve a God of grace, who has allowed me to endure all of my self inflicted foolishness in order to serve Him better.  I am extremely grateful for the program of AA, where I learned to put Him at the forefront of my existence.  He has instilled in me a passion for life, rewarded me with the best wife and kids in the world, allowed me to pursue the talent he gave me, and placed in my life people who also truly love Him and hold me to that same standard!

In AA, when you work the 12 steps, it is said that the purpose of it all is for you "to clean your side of the street" and let God take care of the rest......God its your turn....not that I am rushing you.....;) 

GROUNDHOG DAY!!!!!

The photography business has change dramatically over the course of the last 15years.  I can remember shooting a portrait session or wedding on a weekend and dropping it off at the lab on Monday morning.  Most professional labs at that time ran proofs on a 3day turn around time.  Depending on demand you could request a 100% rush, tis meant they would turn your film and proofs in 24hrs, but of course you would pay double the price!  This of course unless you WORKED at the lab, or had a hook up.  Most professionals didn't trust their film to one hour labs due to the fact that their personnel training was minimal and most did not require quality control standards on their equipment, pro labs did.  On top of that, they cut 35 mm negs in 4 shot groups which did not fit the 6 shot negative pages that Printfile marketed to professionals.  Some professionals did use one hour labs though.  I will not name any names, because some are still in business, but I printed 1000's of rolls for a few professionals.  Their color quality needs were very demanding and luckily I have a very keen color eye.  By then I was managing a branch for Wolf Camera, I trained my lab techs personally so I could guarantee consistent results in processing and quality control, plus I QC'd most everything that the customers saw!  I guess I have always cared a little more.....even when working in retail.....

Believe it or not, the digital workflow, as apposed to conventional photography, is actually much more demanding on the photographer.  When Kodak began developing digital it was to market more to the amateur consumer end of the market.  It was fueled by a consumer who sought instant gratification (do not get me wrong, this is what I love about digital), not wanting to even wait one hour to see the prints......or spend the money on processing..... or the shoe boxes full of negatives.... which had to be kept in the dark and climate control to keep them from fading.

The first digital camera had a resolution of 320 x 640, the equivalent of a photo quality thumbnail print.  It had internal memory only and held about 40 shots before you had to download the files to your computer.  The size of the image was not bad at that time due to the resolution of typical 15 inch monitors, though and after downloading you could view your beautiful work on the computer and print out a very pixelated 4x6 print on your color inkjet printer......wow what a beginning.

What film allowed was breathing room......you had some lag time between the lab, the shoot, meeting with clients, prospecting locations, doing paperwork, filing negatives, ordering prints, and the ever important marketing.

Today, with the standards of society, the workflow is an organized chaotic whirlwind at least for this photographer......
A typical day.....wake up (a definate plus)!
Check email while getting the kids ready for school....
After dropping the kids off, checking Smugmug site for orders, comments, likes, dislikes, visitor stats from the day before, uploading images to site galleries and social media sites to drive potential customer traffic
Editing images in Photoshop CS5 for customer orders, for posting and sending out to customers, the lab, or for portfolio
Tagging images on social media, commenting, answering comments......
Hit the streets for marketing opportunities with local organizations and businesses(cold calling door to door B2B marketing, which I have much experience in).....
Pick up kids from school, while waiting in line Blogging to submit fodder for my most favorite people, or just to get junk off my chest......
Submitting blog.....breaking up fights between siblings, picking up slurpees, sports practice.....etc.
Dinner with the family, either cooked by yours truly, or consumed while in the car on the way to a school or church or family function.....all the while constantly keeping an eye on social media with my Blackberry or iPad......
Fight with the kids, I mean get the kids ready for bed.....they love to stay up?.....
Usually around 9-9:30 pm back on the computer editing images and jamming to Pandora radio through my pimpin' old-skool head phones to the Jay-Z station.....
1:00-3:00 am.....go to bed

6:00 am GROUNDHOG DAY!!!!!!!

You know what though, I would not trade ONE MINUTE of it for any other career in the world.....I meet some of the most beautiful people and children in the world....and get to create memories for them and make them smile for a living.....My kids love having me around, I talk to God constantly, and I feel in my heart that my passion for this is smiled upon by my Creator.....He tells me so every minute of every day........

Or is He telling me to be a Professional Golfer?.......I doubt it I don't have time to work on my game!

Dragonfly

At one point in my life, through the years as I search to find my place in this huge rotating orb, I was determined to jettison my career as a truck driver.  I drove a car hauler, AKA parking lot (in trucker lingo)......also one of the better paying jobs in that industry.  I use to get a kick out of the looks on some of the people's faces in the "4-wheelers" also trucker talk, as I drove up on them or beside them.....that look of fear.....thinking those cars might fall off....it was sort of empowering, if I may say so..

My truck had a speed limit governor on it that only allowed me a top speed of 68.5 MPH.  It was supposed to keep me from getting speeding tickets...and I must admit it was quite effective, never once did I get a speeding offense...that's not saying much though....I rarely speed anyway...just ask my wife.  So anyway to get to the point,  that speed governor also earned me the CB handle:  Dragonfly, or more appropriately Drag and Fly!  The truck would DRAGGGGG uphill(with me all the while rocking back and forth in my seat behind the steering wheel trying to make it go faster), and FLY downhill (with me praying along with all those 4-wheelers I could stop if needed)!

Do you ever wonder why life seems to drag out at such a snails pace when you are waiting on something to happen or that big break or blessing?
And yet when that time comes you spend most of the time afterward grasping and holding on to the seat of your pants as you fly by praying that nothing will happen to spoil the moment?
And then afterward we spend what seems to be an eternity in regret, hoping that the next moment won't pass us by.........

Each new day I strive to move toward and fulfill His will in my life, without regretting the mistakes I've made in the past (hopefully learning from them), and holding out hope that He is smiling down on me.

I guess that's why I like photography, because after all this time, I can predict what's going to happen when I trip the shutter; if I follow the rules I am guaranteed success when that image is processed.  But every once in awhile I am truly surprised and amazed at the results!

It kind of mirrors life ya know.......I guess it is progress and not perfection.....

Whew!?

WOW!!  Well it seems the Running of the Eggs 2011 has come to a close.....I mean the Easter Eggstravaganza.....I mean the train the kids to celebrate another pagan replacement holiday for another biblical celebration!  Sorry I tend to rant when I feel strongly about something...it's my nature...so here goes....


Stop and Think

I wonder if while Jesus was sitting in that tomb on the second day, if he was thinking.....I sure hope Little Billy cleans up on that egg hunt at my house.  Forgive them Father for they know not what they do? 

Now don't get me wrong, I have kids, they all have loved over the years hunting for eggs at Easter....especially since each has grandparents who insist on "hiding eggs"  even though two of my three kids are now over the age of 13.  And yes I do remember hunting eggs at Easter as a kid,  Heck I was the kid who threw a fit because I didn't have a new suit to wear to Church like all the other kids.....little did I know that I was lucky to have a bologna sandwich to eat at the time.....but my parents never let me know we were poor.

I wonder if while Jesus was hanging on the cross on the day he was crucified, he was thinking, I sure hope in 2011 they have a wonderful "Earth Day"  instead of thinking of me.......Forgive them Father for they know not what they do?

Now don't get me wrong, I tend to be quite cynical, at times, about life.  My wife often scolds me about my sarcasm letting me know quite strongly that it is not a very Godly way of thinking but my goodness.......
I blew it today.  My one chance to share about our Family of Faith and I blew it.  I was shooting pics of the kids sweeping up eggs when this lady asked me how she could get copies of the pics because she didn't attend our church......I totally blew it.....I didn't share my faith with her.  I pawned her off by letting her know who to call at the church to get copies....I wonder how many people missed that chance also.

I am sorry for the rant but it is times of the year like this that I truly feel God's glory and I hate to see it missed or looked past by my brethren in faith due to pride or prejudice.
The main point of an "Easter Eggstravaganza" is OUTREACH after all isn't it?  Who cares if your children didn't carry away 15lbs of candy.  When you bought that candy and stuffed those eggs it was for OUTREACH......otherwise why not stay home, boil some vinegar, and color some real eggs right?  Many hard working folks showed up today and threw a great party which was intended to celebrate the glory of God and His sacrifice of His son.  A celebration of the resurrection of our Savior for the sake of a fallen mankind.....did we rise up and show the same love for OUTREACH that He has shown us?.......I would like to hope so....

Cruizin'

So i am outside in this beautiful weather, sun shining, breeze blowing, sweet temperature, nice day!  Sun warming my toes in my Quicksilver flip flops, I turn off the hose and start to clean up my spinner rims, armor-all the tires and spray down my interior with Tropical Heaven scent.  I got the wheels aligned yesterday, the tires balanced, new tires (hence the reason for the tire detailing to remove the dealership marks).  Yeah, I guess I have a pretty sweet Apple Cart!

So I am cruising along today, seat leaned back, bass pumpin, enjoying the ride of my new apple cart.  Out of the blue, a pothole jumps in front of my cart!  I hit it head-on.  It's not one of those bone jarring potholes but enough of a bump to jar the apples.  I steady my ride, Jay-Z pumpin in the back and creise on.  I'm livin right, I know because God has really blessed me lately!  Just around the next block BAM!  I lost focus......ran up on the curb.....and lost a wheel off my apple cart.  Brand new polished, armor-alled wheel goes flying by me as my apple cart comes to a crashing hault!  All my apples are scattered all over the pavement!  I just picked a fresh batch too!  This bites!

I start gathering the apples, determined not to lose them all.  The best part of living in a smaller town, as apposed to the larger metro Dallas, is that no matter how far you cruise in the apple cart you are not far from home!  So I start limping home with what is left of my apples.  I've been down this trail before, many times, so it is a familiar walk back to the house.  When I get to the house, I walk in and start, as I have a thousand times before to cook.  I get out the ever familiar apple pulping machine.  I get out the apple peeler from under the counter and start skinning what's left of my crop.  I then core them, wash them and put them in the pot to boil.  I cook them just so, and pulp them into apple sauce.  I add a pinch of sugar and cinnamon to each bowl and serve them up to my family.

I'm pretty full.  My apple sauce is awesome!  I start thinking about that sweet apple cart I left on the curb in town.  I wonder if anyone can trace it back to me?  I really don't want to have to fix it up again.  Apple season is coming to an end soon so what's the use?  I think i'll just leave that apple cart where it lies.  Maybe somebody else will want it.  Maybe not........Maybe all those apples God blessed me with were to share?  Or maybe he just loves Apple Sauce......

WOW!!!

Blessed....Amazed....Grateful....
This past month has been a whirlwind.  God has blessed my family beyond measure to say the least!  This business is finally taking off....in God's time not mine.  I've learned the hard way over these years, the only thing I can control in life is the height of the grass in my yard!  That too can go south though if the mower breaks!  I am amazed that I am about to be the father of a senior in high school!  Come on now....my motto has always been "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a ToysRUs kid....now my own kid will leave for college in a year!  She's a keeper though!  All of our kids are though...the middle and the youngest are unique by far in their own respects but i will save that for later!  I am grateful for the opportunities God has afforded me in this life....the lessons, sometimes painfully, He allowed me to learn on my own, and the hand He allowed me to rest in after pulling me up out of the chasms I created for myself!  I am also extremely blessed to have a wife, of 10 years soon,  who is my best friend, advisor, spectator, cheerleader, tear wiper, and confidant!  She allows me the flexibility to be who I am today, and compliments my efforts when needed!

This blog will most likely contain a lot of meandering thoughts about my photography and what went into making the images, but at times it will contain a glimpse into the life of a man who lives life with a heart worn on his sleeve.  You see I feel that is what God calls all of us to!  To put our hearts on the line in every aspect of our lives!  What else is there to live for afterall than the One who created us!

That is why I named this blog "The Lens Wide Open".  It is sort of a play on words in that I hope to be "Wide Open" with my writing style and what I say in here.  But also, if you know anything about photography and aperture, "Wide Open" also renders shallow "depth of field" and "depth of focus".....so at times I might get pretty shallow and ramble about one topic that interests me...hopefully not too boring!  BUT....wait for it......."Wide Open" also refers to the light gathering capability of the lens!  I hope that my "light" writing style might bring some "light" into your day, or cause a "light" bulb go off in your own head......or maybe sway you to "Come into the "light" Carol Ann"....lame reference!

Anyway, enjoy!!!